2 - Love Purgatory

I think every one has been in loved. Every single one of us has already experienced being in love. And every one has their own heart break.

BREAKUPS. One word, many emotions. Breakups are always hard right? Why? Because you have to mourn someone you loved and lost. And that someone, who you thought was your forever was only your temporary forever. A friend of mine told me that nothing is definite. Everything is temporary, there's no "forever." Hahaha I know that feeling. And yes, I am saying this based on my own experience. BITTER.

But, TIME heals everything, and eventually, you'll meet someone else and start over again. Eventually everyone of us who has already felt their heartbreak, will eventually move on and forget what has happened, everyone does. Eventually, that former lover or special friend will become a distant memory.

LOVE PURGATORY. This kind of breakup is not the same. This breakup happened with a person who, no matter what you do, you cannot get over. Not a day goes by that this person doesn't cross your mind and your heart feels heavy. It's usually because the relationship is unfinished. But, you can't tell yourself that, and you certainly can't believe it because it will literally drive you mad. So instead, you tell yourself you are fine, and that you can move on. You get pretty close to fooling yourself.

That is.. until you hear that song that he or she dedicates to you. See that photos, ugghh those memories, yearn to share something or wake up thinking about him or her. Ughhh.

Then you are right back to square one. Again. MOVE ON.

There are so many people who come in and out of your life. *I know, FUDGE!* Some you date briefly and never give a second thought to, and some you like a lot, but it doesn't work out. Ouch. Then there are some who crush you, who take months to get over. Ugghh. :(

But love purgatory is different; this is the feeling you get when you know something has to end right now but isn't over for good. You can't just say , "I wish you the best, take good care of yourself" and move on. You can't end that chapter because you know you can't quit them. Not yet, and maybe not ever. And then, you are thrust into what others like to call "love purgatory."

It's a place where you know who the love of your life is, but you are currently together. Wishing and assuming. And that someone, maybe you dated briefly, maybe you had a full-fledged relationship or maybe, you have never been officially together in other words "mutual understanding." The connection with this person is so real and strong and magnetic that you are constantly pulled back. The relationship hasn't reached it's potential yet, so it can't be over. In fact, this might be the person you end up with. But, you aren't together now because of timing, studies, schedules, missed opportunities, etc. So you sit in love purgatory, just biding our time until you can both find each other again.

You find distractions and push away what you feel in order to be a sane enough human being to function life. You meet other amazing, beautiful people with whom you want to work things out, but it never happens because simply he or she just isn't (name of that person).

Maybe the problem is, again, timing. Maybe you have to learn more and grow more. In other words love purgatory means, miserably waiting for someone who you can't let go, hoping to find someone or something to keep you occupied.

People are very complicated and love is sometimes messy. If it' s not that way for you, it doesn't mean it's wrong. It just means your path was easier. For those of us currently in love purgatory, we will one day be with our person in the right timing too. :)